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i was sitting on my bed reading the latest sex blogs and articles like normal and of course i got inspiration to start writing. i was reading one about how we need to get rid of the word "situationship." i hear so many people going on and on about how these are not real and people either need to commit or communicate what they want, or i guess both. it reminded me of the most recent season of love island where its nearing the finale and one couple says their exclusive and the other girls tell her that its a situationship, and i strongly opposed. situationships (based on the online definition) are "A romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established." but based off what she said it seemed pretty established to me. i can see how people may disagree and how the guy should just commit to her already and make her his girlfriend, but i mean in the contexts of love island i would much rather become bf/gf in the outside world. anyways, back to the article, it mentioned how their was already a perfectly good term being used instead of situationship and it was friends with benefits. and the whole article just made me think: is any of this casual? like one night stands, hookup culture, situationships, fwb, like is this really casual? a mutual understanding of using each other for sex, okay fine you get a pass this time, but situationships are based in the fact that they are casual, but complicated. it also made me wonder, are friends with benefits and a situationship the same or is one of the terms an umbrella term, which the other falls under. so i decided to change my thinking after ruminating for a good 30 minutes from "is it casual" to "what makes this casual" and the only thing that really comes to mind is that you have (limited, depending on the circumstance) freedom to see other people at the same time, like if we just get rid of labels and titles in general, the only real thing that makes this casual or not a capital-R relationship is that you have the opportunity to see other people. which i beleive is one of the reasons of the dating depression, not only because theres so many more steps to dating, but because we're all so caught up and in our heads about not caring or acting like something doesn't affect us because we become to serious, or too needy, or obsessive, but where is the line drawn between obsession and vulnerability. can you be casual with someone you are vulnerable with is my question. and for a lot of people sex is very vulnerable but we still classify it as casual because we like to keep our options open and our emotions hidden. see, i was trying to relate this to my current situation, but tbh if i ever said anything like this i would delulu and have feelings for someone, which further proves my point of our current dating generation being scared of vulnerability. we can't commit, we can't communicate, because we're too scared of being delulu, rejected, or seen in some sort of light that seems pathetic to want something. i feel like the word situationship poses that whatever is going on has no effect on you or that it means nothing, and even though it is currently being embraced by young people, it has a negative connotation. i was thinking about one of my friend's situations where this guy was her summer fling last year and now today as im writing this she is seeing him and they're hanging out again, which to me, feels mind boggling to me. i feel like causal insinuates tempoary time constraints or at least something is short. BUT A YEAR???? i've heard of crazy time periods for situationships, HELL HEATED RIVALRY WAS LIKE 10 YEARS. like you know it's bad if someone as avoidant as i am can acknowledge you gotta commit sooner or later. dating is so interesting and this generation of human interaction is also so interesting. why do we hate being genuine and vulnerable? the situationship will forever be one of the world's biggest anomalies.