backseat dating, it's like backseat driving but the dating version. the sum things up for the uninformed: backseat driving is when you're in the passenger seat of the car and you tell the driver what to do or how to drive, and for a matchmaking sex blogger i am what i have concluded as a backseat dater, where i tell people unwarranted sex and dating advice. i may sound like the most annoying person you have ever met, but it's more so like i'm a backseat dater in theory or what i aspire to be in a sense. i have friends that have been in MESSY situations as you may know if you have read my previous posts. whether im back home or la it seems i can't escape it, do i just attract people just as insane as i am? who knows. one of these friends, or two of them, i have held off completely from backseat dating because (well i guess this goes for everyone) at the end of the day what i say will not matter and it will only put them against me, it sounds a bit cruel but it's true. giving someone relationship advice can literally break a friendship, which sounds stupid but absolutely is true and has almost happened to me from backseat dating. would you or would you not want someone to be honest with you and tell you to break up with someone if it's not working, like would you want someone to be completely honest about how they feel about your relationship? i can hear people saying the classic lines of "whatever makes you happy" and "hey it's not my relationship" or that i should stay out of their business, but inherently as a friend shouldn't you want to be in their business? like is that not the whole point? i get that there's a fine line of privacy but to hear about the details of your life and the people you're dating and growing together and then hating them when you break up, isn't this just what we do? why does honesty have to suffer at the hands of a friendship with someone is supposedly your best friend? for context of the post, recently a friend of mine ended a messy situation with someone that they may or may not (she probably will) reach out to again, and it had me thinking to yet another friend that had ended things with someone, went on dates with someone else "as friends" and then got back with her ex. is it just me or these all a little too convenient. how much of our actions boil down to mere convenience? we are so in hour heads about letting love come to me and it comes when you least expect it, is that not just the most convenient option? i recently saw a tik tok about how we need to stop attracting and start doing; rather than letting it come to you, wouldn't you want to go seek out the person you want and who is right for you rather than just attracting randoms you don't even like until five months later. i feel like we've all become less proactive in dating and are so content with the convenient. i suppose my friends are seeking out what they want but it's just the most convenient option. now do i butt in and say what im actually thinking? depends which one it is and how i go about it. i wouldn't say im an instigator but hey i need to get my inspiration somehow when im having a slow boring summer and if i had a nickle for everytime i wanted to backseat date i think i would be rich. but for now, ill mind my own business and just write about it on a blog.