sigh a whore (me) in a friendgroup of relationship people. being back home with my hometown friends has been great and interesting... not in a bad way but it does make me think, hence why im writing. my friend broke up with her boyfriend and then went to casually seeing this guy who she was "just friends" with where they went on dates, texted constantly, he paid for everything and then got right back with her boyfriend. during her time dating the other guy we were in the car and i was driving and we were talking about her not so single single era and i asked if she wanted to have a hoe phase and we were chatting about that for a while and she concluded she didn't (dare i say she already was partaking in one but i digress) and somewhere in our conversation she says im a whore. now im a girl that can say that about myself and in a "us" or "we" situation (ex: we are whores) and/or queer situations, but for a straight girl in a relationship-ish to say that to me, oh fuck no. she kept talking like normal and i just sat there in silence after laughing it off. i understand (or at least i hope) that she did not mean it in a way to hurt me and probably thought it was okay to say i that to me cause i say it all the time, but it just reminds me that people in relationships are not single people. which may be obvious but is it giving asshole if i honestly feel like at times i act different between my single friends and my relationship friends? dynamics are different which is fine, but it's also hard because my distinct geographical friend groups are very different: my friends back home are in relationships and my friends in los angeles are single and love them both. my friends back home are in relationships which theres nothing wrong with, it never really got in the way of things but you can't help but think at times you're third wheeling a relationship between two girls with boyfriends. during my friend's "single" era, which lasted approximately two months, posed the classic lines of "we're just friends" "i don't want another relationship" etc and depicts herself as doing nothing wrong and indeed she isn't, however when we reframe what she does, as something i'm doing as a single person: you would call me a whore or i guess she would and did lol. and that's the part that changes a person's view: how you depict yourself in whore situations, do you own up to it or pretend. i sound quite rude and snobbish in a way in this post, but in regards to all the slut shaming i received in the last school year (it was three people, four including her which isn't that many but it shouldn't be happening in the first place) rather than seeing she is doing somethign wrong, i feel a bit angry that i am seen as doing something wrong when everyone else is not. maybe im ruminating and letting out my anger here and maybe i just miss los angeles. telling my amazing stories to my back home friends feels a bit dramatic, i feel like i live such a different lives compared to being back home and being in la, but for them i can tell they live only one. boyfriends back home change a lot of things and never really let you leave a place which is admirable and endearing in some ways. in a way i think maybe we're just envious for lifestyles we don't want but also can't have. this post feels really raw and also makes me feel liberatedly lonely. because at the end of the i am single and they are not fortunately for all of us.